Can you help me with my resume? I hate resumes, I hate Microsoft Word, I hate formatting. But time and time again someone is in need of his resume being polished for a job he wont get.

In an effort to spare myself from doing another resume, I’ve come up with a Buzzword BULLSHIT list that you should put in your resume to sneak by the analytics that are preventing you from getting past the computers to the next battlefield, the human resources office.

Here it is:

“Value-add, ROI, team, team again, core competencies, global, hedge, human capital, human, client driven, HBS, negotiating, groupthink, international, superhero, forecast, submissive, P&L, conformity, Buffett, team, indentured, strategy.”

I guarantee this will work.