Why when I check my spam box (where all my LinkedIn correspondence go) am I excited to find the email with the subject line, ‘people are looking at your LinkedIn profile.’ I immediately click to see who it could be. As the page loads, my heart rate speeds up, delusions of grandeur run through my head. I get excited. I’ve finally been discovered!

Oh it’s just Bill from high school again. Looks like he changed his profile pic and title line. What the hell is a senior implementation analyst anyway? Did he not have the authority to implement change with the designation of junior? Besides Bill, it’s a few other no names who think that slapping a happy pic above their title line will get them noticed on this irrelevant social media network.

It seems that 2 people have viewed my page anonymously. Hmm, maybe they are the ones who hold the purse strings. Maybe I should update my profile while I am here.

37 more other people have viewed me as well!

No, I’m not dumb enough to upgrade my account. Sorry LinkedIn. I’ll see you next time in my spam box.

Oh yeah someone with the title ‘flight crew’ is going to get me a great job.