unHRable

Recruiters can’t connect the dots, and why aren’t CEO’s concerned?

OK….

So I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before in some way, shape or form, but here I go with it again – I’m simply boggled by the fact that recruiters these days can’t connect the dots on a candidate’s resume.  But what concerns me even more is why doesn’t the CEO care?

Currently, I work for a company as an Account Manager.  For those who don’t know, the main objective of an Account Manager is to make sure you’re delivering the services to the client’s satisfaction, and ultimately, the goal is to retain revenue, or in other words, keep them as a client.

Recently, I applied for the same type of position with an digital marketing agency.  These people really believe what they do is rocket science when in actuality, any dip shit with half a brain and a heart, and a desire to do a good job can do the job.  It’s not hard.  But I get it, you need to have some relevant experience in order to stand out from the pack of applicants.  Fine.  So my resume highlights the fact that I manage 130 accounts.  Let me repeat that – yes, I manage one hundred and thirty fucking accounts.  It’s a ridiculous ratio, hence the reason why I’m looking for a new position.  Yet, the moron in recruiting can’t connect the dots and realize that that’s pretty impressive.  Not to toot my own horn, but you go manage 130 customers and come back and talk to me.  OK, thought so.   Anyway, moreover, the 130 accounts translates to approximately $3MM in revenue.  In other words, I bring in 3 million dollars every year.  And my clients are all Fortune 500 companies.  What does that mean?  I’m providing service and retaining clients from the world’s top companies.  What more do you want?  You know what the recruiter wanted?  Agency experience because working for an agency is not like anything else.  What are you, fucking NASA?  Really?

CEOs, start paying attention – there’s a lot of talent out there that will help you organization succeed in the long-run, but please find smarter recruiters.  I’m not only saying this because I had yet another rejecting experience.  Come on, I’ve been the King of Rejection since graduating with an Information Technology degree in 2002 (for those who don’t know, the IT bubble burst in 2001).  For further clarification, that means that there were no IT jobs in the market.  But again, recruiters don’t know anything about economics, nor can they connect the dots to figure out what a person’s versatile work experience (means no real linear career path) is a tale of economic survival, and versatility, diversity and resourcefulness are more valuable skill sets to have than “agency experience”, which is nothing more than working with a group of elitists who think they’re so cool because they have big hipster glasses, make creative web pages and drink beer in the office wearing tight ass jeans. Fucking morons.

God help all the Americans looking for better career opportunities because we’re subjected to stupidity in the realm of Human Resources.

Until next time…